How many times has someone said this to you? How many times have you said this to someone else? It is simply astounding in this day and age that we are still commenting on how people look. Some who read this may say, what is the big deal? But let’s think for a moment about the phrase “You look amazing. Have you lost weight?” What if the person hasn’t lost weight? What if they have disordered eating? What if they have lost weight because of a stressful event in their life? What if they are physically unwell?
Generally, commenting on someone’s appearance is an indication that you are focused on their external appearance and care less about who they are, their talents or their accomplishments. Commenting on someone’s weight can trigger eating disordered behaviours and negative thoughts about body image. Weight is influenced by many health factors, and most times we are not intimately familiar with someone else’s health concerns.
Did you know Annette is welcoming new clients? Come on in! Are you interested in therapy but are unsure if you and Annette will be a good fit? Send Annette a message and schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
Compliment people about other things instead of their appearance.
Personality traits like perseverance and resilience: Wow! You handled that situation well. Way to go! You take things in stride. I wish I was that laid back.
Skills and abilities: Great job organizing that event. You have a real knack for getting people to participate.
Intelligence: You really solved that problem well.
Behaviour: Thanks for being so supportive.
The possibilities are endless and only limited by your creativity and sensitivity.
Why Do People Find it Challenging to Give Compliments on OTHER Than Physical Appearance?
Complimenting a person on their outward (visual) appearance is fast, easy, and usually socially acceptable. To comment on someone’s character or skills however, takes more thought and effort. Something we’re not accustomed to doing.
If you struggle to receive compliments or have social anxiety and can’t figure out how to compliment others reach out to Annette. She is a registered Psychotherapist with over 25 years experience helping others help themselves.
Listening. Guiding. Caring.
