It’s hard to believe that January 1, 2026 marked 10 years in fulltime private practice for me, and this spring I will celebrate 26 years as a master’s-level psychotherapist. A lot has changed over the years, and I am grateful for the trust bestowed upon me by clients. In the therapy room clients teach me new things every day.
7 Most Important Lessons I’ve Learned as a Psychotherapist/Counsellor
- Trust is not easily given and takes time to develop. Walking into the counselling space for the first time is not easy. Talking about the deeper issues can feel difficult if not impossible. Trusting a complete stranger, your therapist with thoughts and feelings you may never have expressed before takes time. Trust is earned with consistent, reliable behaviour and lots of empathy on the part of the therapist.
- Healing is not linear or fast. You have taught me this over and over. In the therapy room this can look like you jumping between topics within a session and between sessions. Often it takes a number of sessions before you link various thoughts and feelings. Not every session will have a light bulb moment and that is ok.
- Empathy. Empathy. Empathy. Always lead with empathy. Many individuals have never had a space where it is all about them. Holding space for you is the backbone of therapy. Trying to understand your perspective is the process.
- Clear consistent communication is essential. You have taught me what words help and what words harm. You have taught me what makes you feel safe and what breaks trust.
- Problem solving is not the reason people come to therapy. Sometimes you may want to solve a problem, but no one comes to therapy wanting to be told what to do. You want to be heard and understood.
- You are stronger than you realize. Clients demonstrate great strength everyday in my office. They talk about abuse, trauma and loss and keep going.
- Your coping strategies are unique and varied and you have adapted to keep going. Sometimes those strategies are still working and sometimes you need to adjust.
It has been an honour to help clients on their journeys. I don’t have all the answers as you are the best expert on your life. I have come to know that everyone can heal no matter their age or stage in life. How the Mayo Clinic defines psychotherapy.
Interested in connecting to see if we’re the right fit? You’re invited to send me a message. I’m happy to offer a free 15-minute consultation. Or you can book an appointment directly in my calendar.
Wishing you a happy and mentally healthy new year.
Listening. Guiding. Caring.
