Physical abuse is easy to see. Bruises and broken bones are difficult to disguise. Victims of physical abuse can create stories to protect their abusers. Emotional abuse however is often more subtle and victims often don’t view the behaviour as abusive. How do you know if you are being emotionally abused? Here are some of the signs and symptoms of abuse:
- Constant criticism
- Jokes or making fun of you
- Extreme jealousy
- Threats
- Guilt trips
- Extra-marital affairs
- “Protecting” you from financial information related to the household
- Control and dominance
- Negating your feelings
- Making you feel like you are a child
- Blaming you for their mistakes and problems
- Withdrawing and distancing themselves or giving you the silent treatment
Emotional abuse happens to both women and men. Emotional abuse very simply doesn’t feel good. It is hurtful, embarrassing and leaves a person feeling sad and confused wondering how their partner could do or say such terrible things. The abused person wants to believe that their partner can change. It is unclear whether an abuser can change and the issue is one that is up for debate among experts.
One thing that is not up for debate is that all individuals in abusive relationships need support from family and friends. This can be very difficult when you see someone you care about in a bad situation. The abusive behaviour that an outsider may see in a relationship may not be so obvious to the person in the relationship. The first and most important thing you can do for a person in an abusive relationship is listen. Support and encourage, and respect the person’s right to choose. Leaving may not be part of the plan at the moment, but it doesn’t mean that tomorrow won’t be different.
If you are in an abusive relationship and need support whether that be to stay or leave please contact Annette Poechman by clicking here or calling 905-520-5859. Listening. Guiding. Caring.
